Women have long been victims of gender based violence, especially in countries like Nepal. Women, particularly from poor vulnerable and excluded communities, live a life where they are made to believe that it is they are destined to suffer and nothing can be done about it.
However, there are some cases where awareness is being brought about in communities to help women feel that they were not born to suffer. CARE believes that a woman alone could feel helpless. By organizing her into a group she will find friend who will help her fight for her rights. Through group meetings, she will find a platform to share her woes and feelings and apparently will be strong enough to seek for justice for herself.
Amina's Story
The story below is also about a woman, who with the help of her Peace Promotion Group could find justice for herself and her son. This is the story of 25 year old Amina Khatun who was a resident of Gonaha VDC of Rupandehi district in Nepal and belonged to the Muslim community. She dared to defy to her husband’s atrocities and seek a peaceful life for herself and her son. Not just that, with the support from CARE Nepal’s Woman and Youth Pillars of Sustainable Peace (WYPSP) program.
It was sometime around the first week of May when Amina’s husband eloped with another woman from the same VDC. This broke down Amina. “After knowing that my husband got married to someone else, I was shattered”, Khatun shares. One could easily hear in her voice the fury, pain and despair she was going through. Yet she tried to”adjust” and “compromise” for the sake of her family. However, after her efforts were not appreciated by the family or husband, she started questioning herself. She felt it was a humiliation for her and her dignity. “Love alone is not enough if it not reciprocated. I tried to compromise without thinking about myself but I could not continue any longer. She never got love or affection from her husband and his family or his family. Instead, she was looked as upon as a burden.
The firm decision
Having felt that her husband and his family would not support her, Amina decided that she had to seek a divorce and start a new life. It was not as easy to take such a decision for a woman in Nepal, that too for someone belonging to the Muslim community. The divorce left Khatun penniless. She could not even send her son to school even after the age of 5. However, she accepted the challenge.
The support from Peace Ambassadors and Peace Builders
Member of Peace Pressure Group (PPG) and Peace Group (PG) formed under the WYPSP project were aware about the tension in Khatun’s family. The issue was discussed in PPG meeting in the third week of May, 2011 and Peace ambassadors Ajaya Kumar Yadav communicated with Diwani Ghimire, Peace Builder at Peace Centre Rupandehi, asking if WYPSP team could do something for her. “After Diwani agreed, we first took her to mediation”, Yadav said. After few days of the mediation, WYPSP team reached to Khatun’s family and tried to reconcile. “However, our effort turned vain when both Sansudhin Dhuniya and Khatun, expressed their desire for separation”, says Diwani.
Both of them were avoiding the reconciliation. Then the WYPSP team, along with other community people discussed on the compensation package on 7 June, 2011. “At first Khatun proposed that her husband should pay her 2 lakhs and 40 thousands rupees as compensation”, Yadav shares. Also, she demanded some money for the upbringing of her 5 year old son. As Diwani Ghimire, Ajaya Yadav and community people were in Khatun’s favor, her husband Samshudhin Dhuniya had no option, but to agree to compensate some money. Eventually, Samshudhin Dhuniya proposed to offer her Rs. 80,000 as compensation and Khatun agreed to it. Other agreements made that day were : a) Samsudhin Dhuniya offers Rs 2,000/ month to Khatun for their son’s expense, b) Samsudhin Dhuniya initiate the process for birth registration of their son and c) Legal process for the divorce will be initiated in mutual consent . Yadav and Dhuniya followed up the case regularly.
Samsudhin Dhuniya offered her Rs 40,000 on June 8, 2011 and remaining 40,000 on August 18, 2011. Also, he is committed to offer Rs. 2,000 per months for his upbringing and education of their child. “By now, Khatun’s son’s name is registered in VDC office and the divorce application has been filed in District Court”, Peace Ambassador Yadav Shares.
Khatun at present
At present, Khatun and her son are living a happy life in Khatun’s maternal home in Badihati village of Maharajgunj district of India. “Now, I have learnt to live a happy life amid the sufferings, admits Katun. She wants her to send her to school and give him good education. Khatun is grateful to WYPSP team for taking initiation for the compensation package, which she believes, wasn’t possible, if there was no effort from WYPSP.
WYPSP is a project funded by the European Union and implanted by CARE Nepal with the support from local NGOs.The overall objective of the Program is to develop capacity of civil society networks to engage poor, vulnerable and socially excluded (PVSE) groups of women and youth in the process of influencing a democratic constitution in Nepal, leading towards sustainable peace and the achievement of their aspirations.
With the intervention of WYPSP, issues of women especially from Poor, Vulnerable and Socially Excluded (PVSE) population have been advocated in positive light in the working. Numerous efforts are underway to reinstate the right of PVSE women who are in domestic violence, social stigma and are facing social discrimination. The project was started in January 2008. It intends to benefit 65000 PVSE people by 2012.