European widows of Syria

Many refugees have dubbed the journey to Europe as the ‘Death Road’ due to its perilous nature and high mortality rates, especially at sea. Despite this, thousands continue to make the trip with over 3,500 people this year already having lost their lives at sea. This is the story of Hanan, whose husband braved the route to try and find a better life for his family.

Hanan with two of her children, Mushana (5) and Salif (4). Photo: Lucy Beck/CARE.

My husband left Jordan on the 16th of June and arrived in Germany in July. He had been working in Jordan without permission and got caught twice and we were worried we would get sent back to Syria. The last time he was caught I spent the whole day crying to the police and begging them not to send us back. We have to pay the rent on our apartment which is 200 JOD (around $US 280) per month and if he can’t work then we can’t pay. If we don’t pay then we have to leave.

My husband decided to travel to Europe because he had heard there are good conditions for life there and schools for the children and because of the difficult situation for us living here in Jordan. It’s all about our children; that’s the main reason. He found a group of Syrians who were going and decided to join them. He went from Jordan to Turkey to Greece and then up through Europe. He took loans from friends (a total of $2,000) to pay his passage from Turkey.

The last time I spoke to him was five days ago and he told me he’s near Frankfurt in a camp. He says the country is good. The journey was very hard though and he went with only the clothes on his back. He knew it would be difficult but he did it for our five children. We spent a lot of time without contact – sometimes I went four days without hearing from him. He told me he used all his food and water up early on and was eating from the trees and forests and drinking from rivers along the way. The worst part though was the boat which took 10 hours. At the end of journey the water was coming up over the sides of the boat and they nearly capsized.

Hanan, right, lives with her mother-in-law (second from left), sister-in-law (left) and her five children in Mafraw town in northeast Jordan. Photo: Lucy Beck/CARE.

It’s so hard with him gone. Now I have to take care of the whole family alone. I have many new responsibilities now liking taking the children to and from school and caring for my elderly mother in law. I have to take out loans from friends and neighbours to pay the rent. I am waiting from my husband to find work so he can start sending us money. We were expecting it would take one year before he would be able to start providing for his family and we could join him in Germany, but already things are taking longer than we thought so I will have to keep borrowing and maybe look for work myself.

I miss him so much, too much, and so do the children. This is the first time we have been separated for this long in 11 years of marriage. Before this the longest was one month when he went on pilgrimage to Saudi Arabia. I miss everything about him, but mainly the hardest thing is how much the children miss him. They are always asking when they will see him and join him and I don’t know what to tell them.

I know it won’t be easy in Germany but it is still better than here. Me and my husband were teachers back in Syria so we can always learn the language and it will be worth it for the children. If my husband doesn’t get us over to him in a year I will try to take out a big loan and join him there myself. I am scared to death by the journey but I know that after a while no one will give me any more loans and I won’t be able to survive.”

To help lift some of the financial burden she is facing, Hanan received CARE’s emergency cash assistance of US$ 183 and is now being considered for CARE’s winterisation assistance of approximately US$ 560.