Surviving in Pulka by Rakiétou Hassane Mossi

Photo Credit: CARE Nigeria

Today, I am visiting CARE’s health clinic, where they provide much needed facility and outreach-based models of sexual and reproductive health services in the most hard-to-reach areas of Northeast Nigeria. The services include pre and post-natal care, family planning, HIV testing, health education and post-abortion care. Some agents wanted to know my story. I was curious to see them on this rainy day in the transit camp of Pulka, about 120 kilometers away from Maiduguri. I was wet and wearing my only hijab, a blue one. I was emotional because no one has ever asked me to tell my story. So here it goes.

My name is Falmata Ali. I am from Bulakuri, in Northeast Nigeria. I fled to Kodla from armed opposition groups. I am 25 years old and have four children, aged 9, 5, 4, and nearly 2 years old, I also suffered an abortion. My husband, Ali, used to have a small stall in front of our house in Bulakuri to sell condiments. I did not work. We are not living in the best conditions and my husband makes things more difficult. He is affected by what is happening and is always angry. We were really poor. I grew up poor and I’m still poor.

We were able to escape again, two years ago, as some good hearted people helped us to go to Kodla and from there to Pulka. We were lucky to have encountered good people on our journey. I ran without anything. We have lived in Pulka transit camp for the last two months in a small 4*4m space with all four children and my husband. I hope we will soon find a way to have a better living space.

My childhood was not pleasant because we were living in poverty and we had hard times and could not eat to satisfy our hunger. My siblings and I would have to go to help people in their farms and they would give us a small portion of their harvest. That is how my family was able to eat at times. I was always sick - even up until today. I sometimes do not see properly, my sight turns black for a few minutes then comes back to normal. We used to and still wash our clothes in the mud, when it rains as there is no water in this area. It is when I visit family friends that they give me soap so that I can wash myself and my children. I’m struggling to feed my family and I cannot count on my husband to do so. I have to fight for my children to grow up.

One day, the armed opposition group came into the village and burned the entire village except for two houses that they spared, we do not know why. They killed, beat, shot and assaulted everyone they saw. Only a few were lucky to get out of this attack. They slaughtered my father, killed my brothers, and I had to run away to save my life. My husband had to run away as well as they wanted to kill him. We met in the bushes with our children and we headed to Kodla together.

I received a bullet in my thigh, though I did not get any proper medication - I had to pull the bullet myself. I took some medicine to fight the fever and that is it. I did not go to the hospital as my husband did not want to, but he would send to buy painkillers. I could not walk for 2 months and had to be assisted for everything, even using the restroom. We have been on the run for five years now. Every village we went to, it was attacked that is why I think I will be safer in Maiduguri. I just want to meet my family in Maiduguri. I’m still traumatized. After all this, my husband is not taking care of me and our children. He is not able to.

I have heard of family planning and that is why I came to the clinic. Before, I could not do it because it was out of my financial reach. I was using the traditional methods, but I am not sure of the benefits and the effects on my body. I am now grateful that CARE is giving it for free. I do not know the benefit, but the CARE staff told me that it helps you space your births, rest your body, and therefore, have healthy babies.

I am nearly 5 months preganant, so I am praying to deliver safely and start family planning. If it is given for free I will definitely do it since I do not have any means to feed myself let alone have access to health care. I have not been able to do any pre-natal care as my children are always ill. I am always taking them to the health center and not having enough time to take care of myself and my pregnancy. The fact that we had a rough journey made them very ill, and the place we were at before we did not have any health facilities. At the CARE clinic, I liked the way the caregiver attended to me, listened to me, advised me and gave me medicine to heal. I think I will be coming back very soon.

I would like to give birth in a health center so that I can be attended to by a doctor. This would be my first time to give birth in a health facility. One of my pregnancies was very rough. I was losing alot of blood. They took me to the closest health center to stop the bleeding. But, usually I give birth at home without any complications.

If there is a way, I would love to be assisted with clothes, food and proper shelter. My children have only one set of clothes each and I have two for myself. We need help with water as well. Water in Pulka only comes from the rain. I wish for my husband to finish his studies - maybe then he would be able to get a job, which would help our relationship grow for the best. We are not on good terms now, but I want it to get better. I would also like to find a job so I can feed my children. I want my children to grow out of their trauma, eat whenever they are hungry and be able to go to school and becoming important people in the future. I also pray that the ones who were not able to run away and that are still alive will be able to find a way to be safe and back with their families.

I want the world to know I am a survivor and I will strive to make it to Maiduguri to be with some family members, where I believe I will be in security and can truly save my children. I lost my siblings and my father. I only have my children now. I do not have anything left. God will see me through.

Read more about CARE's work in Nigeria.